Posts in EVERYDAY
What a Hacking Cough Can Teach Us

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For the last ten days, I’ve been at the mercy of a cough. In the evening, it’s the worst, holding me hostage from much-needed sleep. So last night I tried something different. I let the cough happen. After a few hearty hacks, my heaving chest slowed to stillness. I was awake a bit longer and then sleep arrived at last. Sweet and silent. What other areas of our lives do we fight against rather than go with the flow of life’s breath? Of course, there are things that deserve a fight. Most things require patience though. Something a hacking cough will teach you if you allow it. 


Coucou Home is a place to feel refreshed, find heart sustenance, and heal your spirit. For this reason, it will always be ad-free. If you enjoy my work and value creativity in the world, please consider becoming a patron by making a donation in any amount or buying my work. Your support is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

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EVERYDAYMary Warnerstories
How to Make the Most of the Ombre Season

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Dahlias, the flower of the ombre season.

Dahlias, the flower of the ombre season.

The kids are off to school, here’s what to do during the ombre season.


For a long time, I had no idea there could be no more than four seasons. Then I found out that in places like southern India, which seemed to have only one season—scorching, a six-season calendar is the norm. Even at home in the United States, in addition to the seasons everyone knows, the North American Cree still use a 6-season system that includes “break-up” and “freeze-up,” both seasons that reflect literal interpretations of nature.

In China, where I’ll be living, many people observe five seasons. There’s spring, summer, fall, and winter, but there’s also a late-summer or “long summer”, which happens to be now. I call it ombre season. It’s the time of year when subtle shades of yellow and red appear on trees before the fall drama. Most people place late-summer roughly between mid-August and the autumn solstice—but the text of the Huangdi Neijing (黄帝内经), which considers this period critical in Chinese Traditional Medicine, is vague. One thing is certain: This is a period of the in-between.

Lately, people have reached out to me in various states of crazed and frustrated. The holidays are over, but schools haven't quite begun. They are either frantic or harried, unhinged by the sudden change in schedule. Even people without children are not immune to the universal slow down that inevitably occurs in August. Those of us without them just have fewer distractions to mitigate it.

On the heels of summer comes fall. Most people are only a couple of generations removed from families who worked farms. Yet, it’s difficult to imagine the enormity of a fall harvest, the preparation of land and household for wintering, and the shortening of the days aided only by candlelight. The last light of summer offered a reprieve for the darkness ahead. In the context of today, where LED lights can stay on for 11 years before they burn out, relying on a natural countdown that slows us down before the frenzy of fall, is essential.

So here are my tips for embracing the ombre season:

Make a list of all that's good.

We often make endless lists detailing what we have to do, so why not make one that highlights the good. Mid-way through the year is a great time to reflect and take stock of the joy.

Walk like Thich Nhat Hahn.

If you’re not familiar with Thich That Hanh, he is a Buddhist monk who popularized the practice of a slow, meditative walk. You can learn his method here. To see the ombre colors between summer and fall, you have to slow down. There's no need to go for a hike. A walk down the block works, too. The act of slowing down allows us to see the intricate layers of life, and by design, our relationships and how we live. Then, maybe, you’ll notice ombre everywhere.

Do a cleanse.

Just as people ritually clean after winter, now is a good time to sort through, recycle, or give away anything that is no longer serving you. If it doesn’t bring you joy, it’s time to go. And the best part? You’ll have cut your spring cleaning in half!

Stay hydrated.

Just because the weather is cooling off a bit, doesn’t mean you need to drink less water. Sweat evaporates quickly in cool, dry air. Drinking plenty of water ensures your organs are not overheating and functioning optimally.

Get extra sleep — a short nap counts, too!

If, like me, you can’t take naps, get to bed earlier. The sleep control center of your brain is more sensitive to the hot and humid that typifies the ombre season, so getting extra sleep will help you stay more focused during the day.


Coucou Home is a place to feel refreshed, find heart sustenance, and heal your spirit. For this reason, it will always be ad-free. If you enjoy my work and value creativity in the world, please consider becoming a patron by making a donation in any amount or buying my work. Your support is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

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5 Lessons From Vietnam

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Vietnam, a place of growth.

Vietnam, a place of growth.

Leaving a place is the perfect time to reflect on the lessons we’ve learned. Here are my top 5 from my Vietnam.


Smiling is a universal language.

In The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera expressed the human desire to be seen. When words fail, a smile says, "I see you." While I still don't speak Vietnamese, I have mastered smiling. 

Make friendship a priority at every age.

A lot of people complain that friendships wane after college. Life gets busy with marriage, kids, and jobs, each vying for attention. Though it seemed counterintuitive, when I moved to Vietnam, I invested my time in new friendships. When life eventually became tough, as it often does, I had local friends to lean on.

There is no such thing as a perfect city.

Dating people is essentially trying to understand another human. When we take the leap at love, we also learn more about ourselves. The same goes for a city. In Hanoi, I learned that I thrive when working with people in the community. Or that I am all about the small-town vibe. Cities can teach us what we don’t like, too. I require fresh air and trees or I will wither! I also must live somewhere where I can be civically engaged. Things Hanoi doesn’t quite offer. Just like people, there is no such thing as a perfect city. Just figure out what you love about the place you call home and you’ll be happy.

Give time before money. 

While many people write checks to nonprofit organizations, few offer a more precious gift: time. Before I moved to Vietnam, I was the center of the universe. My body, my career, and friends all needed tending. In Vietnam, the center shifted. My career lost its appeal, and I craved human connection. I began volunteering with Vinh, a young, bed-bound woman. She quickly became a little sister to me. Through her, I was able to access to Vietnamese culture. Life became robust. Twice a week, we communed. Mostly, we talked or ate together. While that doesn’t seem remarkable, remember what I said about Kundera? 


Find the heart of the matter in your life.

I’ve lamented the need for downsizing before, but Vietnam schooled me on the concept. Marie Kondo has her spark joy, but I needed something less conceptual. Here’s my method for crafting a meaning-filled world.

A purchase of something nonessential only happens if I respond positively to at least two of these questions:

  1. Did I see it being made?

  2. Is it made by an artist?

  3. Does the object mean something to me?

Becoming in-tune with a place allows for greater growth, but to do so requires slowing down and making time for reflection. Even if you’ve lived in a place your entire life, or never plan to leave, each of these lessons can benefit you. Which lesson will you put into practice today?


Coucou Home is a place to feel refreshed, find heart sustenance, and heal your spirit. For this reason, it will always be ad-free. If you enjoy my work and value creativity in the world, please consider becoming a patron by making a donation in any amount or buying my work. Your support is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Donate